"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
Proverbs 31:25
I tell you I pray daily that I will be a woman like this and of course, this morning, this is what I needed to hear. Lately I have been preoccupied with the future. As Mason gets older I have been waiting with fear. Fear that he is getting further and further behind (which is expected considering how early he came). I have been watching him slowly meet milestones which we celebrate! I have had fear of his future. It has really been on my mind A LOT lately. Don't get me wrong...Mason is doing great and he continues to amaze his therapist and us daily. But as any mom does I get caught up in worry and I need to let go and let GOD. I love to sit and watch my 2 boys together. Corbin has such a tender heart and he loves his brother with such a selfless love. He would be content to kiss on him all day long or pile toy after toy at his side in an attempt to encourage him to play. And Mason loves him and tolerates his pulling and prodding SO well! Throughout all of this I continue to remind myself that God has us in the palm of His hand and that He has a plan for all of our lives. He has healed Mason and kept him here for a purpose and I have no reason to doubt Him and His promise for all of our lives. And no matter what Mason's future holds we are going to be here for him 100%. Mason fought to live...and God answered our prayers...and now we will fight for him and all that he needs. God knows each of our futures (even knows the number of hairs on our head right?). I love this Casting Crown song (which has been playing quite often-coicendance I think not but exactly what I need to hear). It reminds me that he is already there and is able to see how every puzzle piece of our life fits. Because to us, here on earth, it is a puzzle. Why did this happen? God knows. And one day it will all make sense to us as well.
From where I'm standing
Lord, it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are going to play out
In a world I can't control
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
Lord, it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are going to play out
In a world I can't control
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
'Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
"For this child I have prayed,
and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.
So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord."
1 Samuel 1:27-28
Sometimes it's so hard to trust...but I am so thankful that God knows the plan for my life, even if I don't. We have that verse hanging above Cohen's crib :)
ReplyDeleteyou will be that woman. we all go through it. the first year is the toughest but after that, you really start to care less. you focus on his abilities and achievements and whatever anyone else is doing is in the background. you will stop worrying and just start enjoying. it will come.
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